Instead of all that fighting in the bar making Sam feel better, it made her more depressed. She was deeply concerned that she was turning into something she really did not like.
She never shown her bitterness outwardly, but she was indeed doing so inwardly. At times she saw herself in that cell alone turning into something that was not her at all. That scared her more than anything.
Right now, she was in a cell. She was inside herself, far too scared to come out.
It was not what she has been doing lately that was seriously frightening her. It was that she felt that she was turning into something that was not her. She realized that she was afraid of things that she would never be afraid of before. She was a Captain of the United States Air Force, but she has found herself trembling on everything that came at her if it was real or not.
She was very much enjoying her Jedi training with Master Corran. For some reason the Force was allowing her to change, but for the better. The change that she feared in her had to do with the time she was kidnapped to the time Mara Jade Skywalker rescued her, and it was still haunting her.
She knew she had to talk her problems out. It is not like she does not trust anyone that she has known in this world, but she for some reason could get past these unrealistic fears that gnaw at her constantly. She knew that sometimes a person can be their own worst enemy. She knew she has to push passed these fears, or she will be a slave to herself. “Dammit!! Am I afraid of my own self?”
All the sudden there was a knock on her bedroom door.
Sam quietly got up from sitting on her bed, and opened the door.
When she saw C-3PO, she tried to give a smile. she said to him, “Come on in C-3PO.” After he did she closed the door.
When she sat back down on her bed, C-3PO sat beside her.
“I just came to say that if you want to talk to anyone, I am here for you.”
Sam had her ever most being screaming at her to talk, but she was still too frightened. After a bit Sam breathed in deeply and exhaled it. “I will on one condition.”
C-3PO replied, “Anything Sam.”
He knew humans well enough that they had to talk out their problems. If he could get her to talk it out no matter what condition she will offer him, it will do her the wonders.
“For right now, I want what I will be telling you to be between us.”
Sam looked directly at C-3PO, “Can you do that for me?”
“I will Sam. I have held information of great sensitivity before. In all the time I have known Anakin Skywalker; I have kept all that I have experienced about him. As you have heard by now, he went to the Dark-side of the Force and became Darth Vader. One day they were going to wipe my memory, but I made a plea with them. I had to be the one to hold the memories of all that had happened. The plea I made to them, I would act like a sniffling coward to protect the legacy of Anakin Skywalker. Now I will do the same for the legacy of Samantha Carter if you will allow me to do so?”
Sam gave a dry smile, “I do not know if my life is that big to be called a legacy.”
“Sam from what I do know of you, your life is already a legacy that is worth saving, and I will preserve those memories as long as I am able to do so.”
Sam did start to tell C-3PO her story from right before the last time she exited the Stargate at the SGC to where she was now. At first she did a lot of crying, but he was there for her. He comforted her as much as a droid could. Having the droid just be there for her did the most good.
As the days and weeks went by, Sam found herself having a friend in C-3PO. It was more than what she had with Mara Jade Skywalker. It was a bond that she never thought she would have with a machine, but she did just the same.
This soul bond that was getting stronger each day, finally allowed Sam to realize she had a purpose in a galaxy far, far away. She was not sure what that purpose was, but she thought the roots she was growing in this world were very strong.
Due to her relationship with this droid, Sam was feeling less of a solo being in an empty universe. She also was working hard with her knowledge of astrophysics to help her SG1 team to come to her.
One day the Jedi Knights came across some artifacts that interested Sam extremely.
When she saw some staff weapons and zat'nik'tels lying on the ground, she was very excited. Sam asked Luke, “Where were these weapons found?”
Mara asked, “How do you know these are weapons?”
Since they were outside, Sam quietly pickup up one of the Goa'uld Staff weapons. She then flipped a switch. It came to life in front of all of them. Sam then aimed at a tree trunk at a fair distance and fired. After the splinters of wood settled, Sam asked Mara, “What do you think?”
Mara replied with enthusiasm, “I got to have one of those!”
Luke, Sam, and Master Corran smiled.
Sam put down the staff weapon after turning it off, and picked up a zat'nik'tel. “This is a zat'nik'tel or what Jack likes to call them a zat gun.”
Sam aimed and shot at the same location that the tree stump was located. Sam stated, “One shot stuns. Second one kills. The third one disintegrates.”
After putting that zat gun down, “Are there any other Goa'uld objects?”
Luke answered, “That is all that I am aware of Sam. I can take you the planet where these were found.”
Sam replied excitingly, “That would be great. Even if we do not find anything more, just being there might tell me we are closer to the Jaffa's home world, Chulak.”
Mara said, “Wow! I did not realize that we were connected with people in another galaxy.”
Sam smiled, “Same here. I wonder what else we can find, and how many more is connected to you Jedi Knights in my galaxy.”
Corran stated with a smile of his own, “It would not surprise me that you are very much connected to us Jedi Knights.”
Sam warmly smiled, “I am already. You are my Master.”
“My Padawan, I was referring to our ancient history.”
Sam went wide eyed on what her Master said, “Wow! Might explain why I was brought here in the first place.”
“Never know. I have a feeling that you will be the one to find those answers.”
“Master, what do you mean?”
Corran just smiled at her.
Mara said, “You two better set off. You will not find anything about Chulak or why this galaxy is connected with yours by standing around.”
Sam and Luke took off. When Luke was flying the ship, Sam wanted to contact Jack, and tell him what had been discovered.
He was at a meeting with the other SG1 members. Sam thought to try making conversations with all of them. Sam replied, “Hi guys.”
Everyone heard her.
General Hammond replied enthusiastically, “It is great to hear your voice.”
Sam replied, “It is great to hear your voice too sir.”
Jack did his little protest act. “You are not allowed to call us sirs. You are out of jurisdiction.”
Sam smiled and restated, “It is great to hear your voice too George.”
General Hammond asked, “What can we do for you.”
Sam told them about some of the Jedi Knights found some staff weapons and zat'nik'tels.
Daniel got excited. “That is why those nine chevrons were so familiar.”
Sam replied in astonishment, “Nine chevrons! That means I am really out in the boonies of space.”
Teal'c asked, “What else have you found?”
“Luke and I are going that planet right now. If we find anything more or not, I strongly believe Chulak is the bridge to get to where I am.”
General Hammond said, “Sam how are you being treated. I mean can you tell me more about these Jedi Knights?”
“They are wonderful people. They are doing all they can to help me deal with all that I have dealt with before they rescued me. I trust them completely.”
“Not to be rude Sam, but I would like to talk with them before I can rightfully send anyone else you way. I hope you understand what I am saying?”
“I do George, and I fully understand. I will talk with them about this issue. I was told I am the only one that had the ability to use the Force to communicate at this distance. I think it has to do with my love for Jack.”
Jack smiled. “Cool.”
Everyone smiled at Jack's silliness.
Daniel asked, “Could it be possible for us to see you? We can only hear your voice.”
“Let me concentrate for a moment.”
All the sudden she appeared as sitting as she was on the ship, but she was sitting on the middle of the table facing them all.
Jack replied, “Cool duds.”
Sam smiled, “Good I did it.”
Teal'c replied, “You look great Sam, and it is good to see you again.”
“It is so wonderful to see all of you again. You do not know how much I missed you all.”
General Hammond smiled, “Now that I can fully trust these Jedi Knights, I want you to believe that SG1 will be coming to you soon.”
Sam started to cry. Sam cursed at herself for doing so.
Jack protested, “I will have none of that Sam. You are allowed to cry on Force visual communications.”
Sam laughed. “Thanks Jack. I will remember that.”
Daniel said, “Not to pressure you, but it might be better if you find this Stargate. As far as we know, it could be buried.”
“Good point. Hopefully I will find something on this planet. I will try to contact you when I do.”
“Since there are nine chevrons to dial here, I hope you all can find a powerful source to be able to dial that distance.”
McKay said, “Sam, you might need to find a way to get to a closer Stargate. I know it will mean hopping through a few Stargates to get to Chulak, but it might be the only way if either one of us cannot find a powerful source.”
“I do not think so. I do not know how you all got these nine chevrons, but they are it, and you are the ones that appear to do the traveling.”
Teal'c said, “If the Jaffa long ago used the Stargate to go to the galaxy you are in, then that power source should still exist on Chulak.”
Jack said, “Stay safe Sam, and please let me know what you find.”
Sam replied, “I will my love.”
Jack responded, “I love you too Sam.”
Sam broke from the Force, and found herself looking at the walls in the room she was in on Luke's ship.
**********
Everyone looked at Jack to tease him quietly for showing his love for Sam publicly.
Jack frowned and replied, “What?”
General Hammond just grinned.
He looked at Teal'c and said, “I want you and SG1 to find this power source. I do not want any of you to come back without it. Dismiss!”
As SG1 was walking out of the conference room, Daniel said to Jack, “I see what you mean about Sam still has a lot of dreariness in her. Even though she tried to show a cheery side of her, she could not hide all her persecutions and all the rest she went through.”
Jack stated, “That gentlemen is why we cannot fail to find that power source. She really needs us. I for one am planning to resign my commission to stay with her.”
After Colonel O'Neill walked off, Teal'c replied, “It seems O'Neill is hurting because of how Sam feels.”
Daniel said with great sadness, “I am beginning to feel the same way.”
McKay said, “Since you three should be with her, I think it would be best that I stay here at the SGC.”
Teal'c said, “When we find a way to go to where Sam is located, then yes you can. Right now we need your help in finding this power source, and carry it back to the SGC.”
McKay stated, “No offense, but would it be better to use the Stargate at Chulak?”
Teal'c raised an eyebrow. He replied, “Interesting question Dr. McKay. We will have to see when we get there.”
Daniel replied, “If you excuse me, I have something I want to do.”
Daniel found Jack in the Mess Hall. Daniel quietly sat on the other side of the table.
“If you are here to talk me out of resigning once we find Sam, do not waste your time. Hammond tried it, and he was not successful.”
Daniel replied with concern, “I am here to see how you are feeling about that decision.”
Jack stated with a little frustration, “Come on Daniel, you know how much I love Sam.”
“I know that Jack. I was referring to...”
Jack interrupted, “Dammit! You know how I feel about her being kidnapped right under our damn noses! Sam is suffering from her ordeal, and I cannot do one fucking thing about it!!”
Jack was quiet for a moment and apologized in fussing at him.
Daniel understood. “I know exactly how you feel Jack. When I lost Sha're to that damn Goa'uld, I was angry and feeling about the same as you are about Sam. We will get her back.”
Jack said, “If we do not, I do not know if I can live with myself.”
Daniel remembered he felt that same way. He thought he lost a part of himself when she was taken from him. When she had that damn Goa'uld in her, he wanted to rip the snake right from in her head.
“I have lost Charlie from my mistake. I now lost Sam for another.”
“What kind of talk is that? What happened to Sam is completely different. You did all you could in keeping her from being taken. We all did. These people knew what they were doing. We will be with her. If we get to see Sam tomorrow, I will not complain, but I have a feeling it will take some time to get to her. When we find this power source on Chulak, it might take some time for us to recharge it. This has to be one old power source.”
“I will do all that it takes to get those chevrons dialed even if I have to use myself for power source. We are going to get to Sam one way or the other.”
**********
Sam walked into the cock pit of the ship. After Sam sat down, Luke asked, “What did Jack have to say?”
“I was able to talk with all of my team. They will check out Chulak to see what they can find. They will need a very powerful power source to dial nine chevrons.”
“How many are usually dialed?”
“Normally it is just seven. We mostly travelled within our own galaxy. We did dial eight at one time to another galaxy, but due to the knowledge of the Ancients in Jack, he was able to build a proper power source.”
“What makes you think they can find a power source on Chulak?”
Sam answered with certainty, “I sensed it from Teal'c. I felt that he knows something about the Jedi Knights.”
“I have never heard of that planet before. I take it he came from there?”
Sam answered, “Yes, he is a Jaffa, and the best asset to the SGC.”
Luke was quiet. Sam saw this. She asked, “Do I see a light bulb over your head when I mentioned, Jaffa?”
“I am not sure. Something clicked. Might been something I read many years ago. How long can these Jaffas live?”
Sam answered, “I am not really sure, but they do have a Goa'uld larva in their bellies.” Sam explained all she knew about that relationship, and how it can make the Jaffa live for hundreds of years.
Luke replied with great interest, “It is something to look into. I cannot promise if I can find anything, but I will do what I can.”
To change the subject, Luke asked, “How is your Jedi training going?”
“I just started my lightsaber training. I had similar training in fencing on Earth.”
Luke smiled, “This Air Force training of yours sounds very interesting.”
“I learn to fence when I was a teenager. It was something to do to keep me out of trouble.”
“I am sure you were a good person.”
“That person does not exist to me anymore, and I do not think I want to have that person back.”
Before Sam knew it, they were landing.
“Wow! It does not take you all long to go places.”
Luke replied with a smile, “Our ships can fly almost as fast as light speed.”
“You have hyperdrive technology?”
“Yes we do.”
“I have seen hyperdrive ships before, but I have not seen a world that is this advanced with them. Most planets I have been to just have a few of those type ships.”
Sam was wondering what other technology they had here. She also wondered if they had a power source powerful enough to dial nine chevrons.
She immediately lost the idea. She realized that the chevrons Jack got a hold were to dial to her. “All we need to do is to find the Stargate. Jack, Teal'c, and Daniel would not know what to do when they get here. If it were not for these Jedi Knights, I do not know what to do here.”
After walking a bit, “If I went home right now, I do not think I know what to do with my life.”
Sam was not sure if she felt chilly from the air, or due to what she was thinking. Sam knew that talking to C-3PO was helping, but at times Sam thought it was not doing a thing for her. “What will I do when they do come here? Will I be happy, sad, or angry as hell because they are not with me right now?”
Luke said, “This is the dig where they found those weapons.”
Sam examined all around her. She found nothing. Sam asked, “How much did they dig?”
“I was not here at the time.”
Sam was about to give up in finding anything when she remembered what her Master told the other day about finding things without seeing them.
Sam stood still. She closed her eyes, and opened herself to the Force.
Sam then examined all around her. What she found made her smile. Sam said after opening her eyes, “I found the Stargate. It is right under us.”
Luke asked, “You mean the large ring in the ground?”
Sam answered, “Yes. That is the Stargate.” Sam saw that Luke was confused. Sam then explained how it worked.
“That is an Interesting way to travel. I bet it goes faster than our ships?”
Sam smiled, “Actually it warps space. It allows the distance to be shorter.” Like Jack, Luke was getting confused with the technical words. Sam knew that Jack was smarter than he acted, but for some reason he never liked technical talk.
Luke pressed a few buttons on his belt. Several maintenance droids came out of his ship. They raced to get to where Sam and Luke were located. Sam instructed them to dig till they get to a large ring. It took them about an hour and a half to dig it up.
Sam was very impressed on how quickly they did their job. When Sam saw the Stargate in its entirety, she was very happy to see it. She was also very angry. There were some raw feelings that Sam did not realize she had. She was starting to be very afraid of Earth finding her while at the same time wanting to be with Jack.
Sam just stood there looking at the Stargate that had never seen daylight in a very, very long time. “Whatever the reason in burying the Stargate, it would be safe to have it in the open since no one here ever heard of it.”
Sam sighed. Luke realized that Sam was having mixed emotions over the Stargate and having people of Earth coming here. Sam closed her eyes once again.
When she opened them, Sam replied, “It is not here! Dammit! Where in the hell is it?”
“Sam, what is wrong?”
“The DHD. It is not here.”
Luke asked, “What is a DHD?”
Sam was still frustrated, “It means Dial Home Device. It allows anyone to dial to another Stargate. People can dial in to our location, but they will not be able to dial out.”
Luke did not fully understand why Sam was so upset.
“Can you rig something to represent this DHD?”
Sam said calmer, “I guess I could, but I have no idea how your technology works.”
“I see there is more than this DHD issue that is making you so upset?”
Sam exhaled and turned to face Luke. “I have got hit with the reality of wanting them to all be here, and I am angry for them not being here. I still hurt for them not rescuing me a long time ago.”
“You know they would if they could get here.”
Sam said bitterly, “I know, but I still feel anger.”
Luke said gently, “Sam you know you are not bitter for them not being here. You must face that before they do get here, or you might do them harm when they finally go through this Stargate.”
“How?”
“Have you talked about your feelings to anyone yet?”
Sam answered worryingly, “Yes, C-3PO. Please do me a favor.”
“Sure.”
“Please do not tap his memory banks. I asked C-3PO not to tell anyone. I do not want him to think he broke that promise.”
Luke smiled, “I promise Sam. When you are ready to talk to the rest of us, we will be there for you.”
Sam smiled back, “Mara and I have been helping me release some of my destructive emotions.”
“She told me about the cantina.”
Sam replied with a little frustration, “I feel like going there right now.”
“Do not face your problems alone.”
Sam kicked the dirt a little. Sam looked at Luke and said, “I think am afraid going home.”
“Sam there is nothing wrong in being afraid.”
“Not like this. What I am afraid of is getting my old life back. I want to Marry Jack. I cannot do that being part of the SGC as an officer.”
Luke said, “Live the here and now. Let tomorrow worry for its self. You are only driving yourself crazy.”
Sam laughed, “I know that.”
“You are not crazy Sam.”
“I thought talking about my feelings would help, but it seems I am getting worse.”
“It is helping you Sam. There are a lot more raw emotions in you. We all saw that. We all know that you will make it in the end as long as you do not give up on yourself.”
One of the droids asked, “What do you want us to do now?”
Sam turned around. “Make a good ramp for the Stargate. It will be standing on it end.” The Droid replied, “Yes Ma'am.”
It took the droids only 15 minutes to make it out of the materials that where on Luke's ship.
After Sam looked at it, she yelled out, “Thank you!”
Sam used the Force to raise the Stargate in the air. It slowly floated up. Sam then waved her arm to push the Stargate closer to the ramp. When in the right place, she flipped it 90 degrees. When the Stargate was in the right place, she lowered it in position.
After looking at it for a time, Luke said, “Wow! So this is how you did your job every day?”
“Yes. I only wished I could dial an address to allow you to experience this.”
Luke said, “Let me call the Alliance. I am sure they will want to put some guards here to watch who is coming and going, if anyone does go through it.”
Sam looked down on the ground than back at Luke. “I am sorry about getting upset. I can never be angry at you. I owe you and Mara my life.”
Luke replied with a smile, “No problem Sam. You are a better person than I could ever be.”
Sam smiled, “If you say so.”
“Sam, I know so.”
“I am Sam Carter, and I am a free.”
Luke smiled, “Yes you are. You also will get home, and you will not be afraid anymore.”
“That would be very nice. It seems here lately I cannot stop being afraid.”
“You are a lot stronger then you think.”
“If you say so. At times I just do not know. Right now I am afraid to get too close to the Stargate.”
“That is normal. You were after all taken through the Stargate.”
Seeing that Sam did not buy it, he said, “Why not see the Stargate with Jack in mind. You do not have to walk close to the Stargate just learn to look at it in a different light.”
All the sudden Sam heard a ship flying close. When she turned to its location, Sam realized it was her Master's ship.
Sam asked, “Wonder why he is here?”
After a few moments she saw Dentralla, C-3PO, and her Master walking close to them. When they got close enough, C-3PO asked, “What is that?”
Sam smiled, “That my friend is the Stargate, without a DHD.”
“That is the Dial Home Device you talked about?”
“Yes it is. I will need to help someone rig something to make a substitute.”
C-3PO was walking up to it.
Sam instinctively reacted, “C-3PO, be careful.” Sam cursed to herself for saying that.
To Sam it looked like the droid was simply touching the Stargate. What he was actually doing was examining it. When C-3PO came back, he said, “There is a way to operate it with our technology.”
Sam asked, “You can tell just by touching it?”
“Yes I can. I believe that the Stargate can be activated without connecting anything to it.”
Sam said excitingly, “However it will be run, I will have to write a program to operate it. If I do not, then this planet will be getting small quakes from the awesome power of the Stargate.”
Corran said, “It will not take long before the Alliance gets here. Since you will be needed here at this Stargate, we can continue your training here. Since you need to face your fears of being close to any Stargate, we will do it right close to this one.”
Sam reminded her Master, “Remember what I told you about thrust of an established connection. If we get hit by it, we will get vaporized.”
“I remembered what you said.”
After using the Force to draw a circle in the ground, he calmly asked his Padawan, “Is this too close?”
Sam answered nervously, “It is fine.”
Corran calmly had a seat. Sam froze in fear where she stood.
Corran asked while his eyes were closed, “Are you coming? It is better if we are close together in your training.”
She wanted to run away due to what he was asking her to do. Sam did not want to disobey her Master, but she was far too frightened to walk. Sam then remembered what Luke told her about looking at the Stargate with Jack in mind.
Sam started to walk. It was shaky, but she took the first step. She took another and another. Before she realized it, she was in the circle.
“What now?” Sam breathed out with all the air she had in her lungs.
Sam was struggling to sit. It felt that she was fighting a category 5 tornado. Her heart was pounding like she had run a marathon. After calming herself down, Sam realized she was already sitting down with her legs crossed. When she was looking right at her Master, Corran replied with a smile, “Welcome. Now let's quietly meditate in the Force.”
