The Millennium Falcon finally arrived at its destination. Han put his ship out of hyperspace.
Through the cockpit window Sam examined the moon, Yavin 4. Sam stated with amazement, “If you did not tell me this was a moon, I would have thought it was a planet.”
Han asked, “I take it you do not live on your moon?”
“Not yet. There are far too many cosmic bombardments making it unsafe to live on.”
“When we do finally get you home, I am sure any of us can teach the people of Earth how to safely protect themselves from such matters. We have our share of cosmic radiations, asteroids, and anything you can name. As you will see, all kinds of life are on Yavin 4, including planet life.”
Sam was quiet. The more she looked at this moon, the more it reminded her of Earth. Remembering Earth reminded her of the man she loved, Jack O'Neill. She had to force herself into concentrating on the here and now. She had plenty of time to think of Jack, and having his arms around her. “If that will ever happen.”
She quietly followed Han out of the cockpit to meet up with the others. When they exited the ship, there were greeted by a few people. One of them saw her, a lady who spoke to her with a warm greeting, “Welcome to Yavin 4, Captain Samantha Carter. I am Senator Mon Mothma. It is good to have you here with us.”
Sam gave a smile, “Thank you. This moon reminds me of my planet, Earth. I know I will enjoy my stay here.” “I just hope I do not get too homesick, and make people think I am batty.”
Mon Mothma introduced the others near her, “Sam this is Princess Leia Organa Solo on my right and Master Jedi Corran Horn on my left. The gold droid behind me is C-3PO.”
Sam replied, “It is good to meet you all.”
C-3PO said, “It is an honor to meet you. I am a protocol droid. I am here to help you in communicating with all the different life forms on this moon, and I have to say, there are many species that do not speak any human languages.”
When Sam looked at Master Jedi Corran Horn, there was something that got her attention with him. It was as though there were something familiar about him, but she never met him before in her life.
Sam replied to C-3PO, “Thank you for your help, I know I will need it. If this moon has only Wookies, I would have no problem communicating.”
Dentralla walked to Sam's side. Dentralla growled. Sam smiled, “Dentralla is my friend. She has sworn a life debt for something I have done for her.”
Mon Mothma was impressed, “For a Wookie to declare that, you have to done something very miraculous.”
Master Jedi Corran Horn said, “Sam, it would be an honor for you to live with me until you get the money to do otherwise.”
“Thank you. When I can get a job here, I will be honored to pay you back for services rendered. I never like to take charity from others without at least paying something for their troubles.”
“We can deal with that another time. For the time being, just think of yourself as our guest.” Corran was quiet for a moment and continued, “Mirax, my wife, is at this moment cooking dinner. You are welcome to join us as well as Dentralla.”
Sam looked at Dentralla. She growled, and Sam responded, “We will be honored. Thank you.”
Sam said farewell to her new friends and followed Master Corran Horn to his transport.
After his ship took off, Corran said with a smile, “I might have something for you to do.”
Sam smiled back, “What is that?”
“As you can feel this ship needs some maintenance. Do you think you can learn our technology and work on it?”
Sam replied excitedly, “I do love to tinker. If I can learn your technology, I will do what I can. I have to admit, you all are far more advanced than most people on planets I have seen in my galaxy.”
“That may be true, but I can see that you are very intelligent, so I think you can do it.”
Sam replied, “At least it will allow me to keep my mind off my recent.....” Sam was about to cry over the hurt that had been buried deep in her. “My recent troubles in my life.”
Corran quiet until they arrived. Corran said, “Here we are.”
“You all do move fast around here.”
Corran smiled, “I either move fast, or I miss dinner. I have not missed out on Mirax cooking in the years of being married to her, and I am not about to start.”
Sam smiled back.
“C-3PO had some other things to do. He will be with you shortly.”
“I was wondering why he did not come with us. How many different kinds of species does Yavin 4 have?”
Corran answered as they were walking in the house, “That depends of the seasons. Even when they are at the lowest, there are far too many to count.”
When Mirax saw Sam, she gave her a warm greeting, “Welcome to our little neck of the universe. Please allow this place to by your new home.”
Sam politely responded, “Thank you very much.”
“Trust me; I know a lot about being homesick. It does not matter if your home is on a different planet or galaxy.”
She felt a little violated that everyone she had met so far knew so much about her, but she understood. She was from a world far, far away. She knew how to be polite and all, but she had been wondering if she was too accommodating. “Dammit! I could also be overreacting. I am not going to go anywhere if do not chill, and act.....” Sam paused in though and continued, “How in the hell do I act in a place that I know nothing about. There is more than technology that I need to learn from this world.”
Mirax and Corran did not say anything. They understood some of what she had been through. They had unfortunately seen too many that came out of slavery throughout the galaxy. They both knew that she will make it. Might be hard to understand how they can know so much from a complete stranger, but how she had presented herself so far, they knew that she would be a better person when she finally allows all the horrors to leave her.
She was in a stranger world alone with just a Wookie at her side. She was very fond of that Wookie. She did not want to even think how her life would have been if it was not for Dentralla walking into her life.
Sam finally looked up. “I wonder how my life would be without these two people.”
She wanted to tell everything she went through. She wanted to tell Mara earlier on the Falcon. She was far too frightened to get out of her hard shell. From somewhere deep inside her came out and told her that she was a Captain of the United States Air Force. “Not anymore.”
Just the same, a good part of her was still on Earth than she realized. Could she get the rest of herself there? Right then she wanted to hide in a world she believed she does not belong in, thinking that she would never see Earth again.
Where there is life, there is hope. What she refused to see was that she had more hope in going back home to Earth. If her team had walked in the front door right now, She feared something very bad could happen. Her experiences had conditioned her to see life in that way. She was after all kidnapped and brought here for a purpose?
She realized that the plans of her captors were not to be freed by these Jedi Knights. The only thing she could do was fear beyond reality. She was afraid all of them would die because of her. She by no means wanted to leave them and go back to the mines, but she could not shake the vision she had in her head that they would be dead when she woke up one morning.
She let go a big sigh.
When she looked up again, Corran understood what she was feeling through the Force, but he asked her anyhow. “Are you okay Sam?”
Sam sighed again, trying not to cry. She had a hard time doing so because Corran, with the Force, was keeping Sam from burying any more grief. She quietly shook her head.
Mirax asked, “What is wrong sweetie?”
Sam did not want to answer, but again Corran was nudging her to open up. She started to cry. “I am afraid all you nice people will die on my account.”
Mirax asked, “What makes you think that?”
Sam answered in a crying voice, “Every time things start to go right for me, someone dies. I do not want that to happen to any of you.”
Sam was weeping to the point of hyperventilating. Mirax came to her side, and gave her a hug.
Mirax gently said, “Let is out Sam. We all are safe here. All that you have faced is not in this house. Nothing bad will happen like that again. Let it all out.”
Sam cried and cried. Later on Sam spoke, “I feel so embarrassed.”
Mirax replied, “Nonsense Sam. You needed to let it out. You will need to let out a lot more.”
Sam quietly nodded.
Mirax restated, “Please do not fear that we will die due to you. No one lives forever.”
Dentralla said, “If anyone tries to kill you, they will not succeed. My life is yours Sam, and my life will not allow you to get even a skinned knee.”
“How many times I have wished my life could be taken in the place of the ones that have died in the mines.”
Corran demanded, “Stop thinking that way Sam. I am sure you would not be allowed to think that way in your Officer Air Force training?”
“No. I would not be allowed to think like that at all.”
“Then do not do it now.”
After Sam was able to clear her mind a little, she asked Corran, “When I first saw you at the landing bay, I felt like we met before, but I know we have not. Why was I feeling that?”
Mirax and Corran quietly looked at each other. Corran looked at Sam and answered her question, “Sometimes the Master finds the apprentice. Other times the apprentice finds the Master.”
“You still think I can be trained to be a Jedi with my emotions as they are?”
Corran said with a frown, “There you go again, punishing yourself.”
Sam lowered her head in shame.
Mirax replied to her reactions, “There is no shame in realizing you made a mistake. I make them all the time. What you have been through was not your fault, so there is no reason to punish yourself.”
She looked at Mirax and said, “What I feel is not punishment, but fear. I am just afraid that...”
Corran interrupted, “There is no reason to fear. What you have been through was real, but it is not real now. As far as you know, those deaths could have been fixed to break you. I believe that you were not sent to our world just for simple slavery.”
She looked at her Jedi Master. She asked, “Master, who could it be?”
Corran smiled, “My dear Padawan let me worry about that. All of us are working hard on your behalf. I do not know if you have been told this, but you are not alone. I will not train you, and let you drift solo.”
“I dearly wished I could find confidence in that. Right now I cannot find conference in myself.”
Corran said with confidence, “You will one day Sam. You will one day.”
Mirax gave her another hug.
**********
Luke and Mara got done monitoring Sam with the Force.
Luke said, “We need to watch after her. Whoever kidnapped her is not over with her.”
Mara replied with a little frustration, “I would like to know who, how, and why.”
“Could it be these Goa'uld System Lords that Sam had talked about?”
“Right now, anything is possible Luke, but I do not think so. Why would they bring her this far out into space? No, the problem is right here in our neck of the woods. There is another Sith Lord out there, or Palpatine had another clone hidden.”
Luke replied nervously, “I hope you are wrong.”
Mara replied sympathetically, “Luke, I know how you feel about him. I know how I feel about him, but let's look at it. We know the clones he had went old quickly. We know that Sam has a very strong ability to use the Force. What is the next step for him?”
Luke nodded, “You got a point, and a very good one. It will also explain the shroud over our eyes. Ben said Palpatine did that before to us Jedi Knights. Whoever it may be, we should not tell Sam about this unless we know for certain. She has a lot on her mind already.”
Mara had to agree. She said drily, “If any Dark Lord is after Sam, she is in great danger still.”
“I am more concerned with her recovering what she has gone through. How she feels inside, she thinks her life has no meaning. Most slaves that have worked in the mines rebound very quickly. Someone fed her those cold hard raw emotions.”
Mara sighed, “That is why I believe it is Palpatine. Sam feels a lot like I did.”
“What I am thinking… it could be someone else that is disguising him/herself to make us think it is Palpatine. We need to do, as Han would say, ‘do more digging before we dive-in.’”
Mara replied with a little anger, “I guess I want to easily say it is him, so I will not think it is someone worse.”
“It might be worse anyhow. Whoever is after Sam, they will be after us Jedi Knights.”
“Are you saying that attacking Sam has two fronts?”
“I really do not know, but we need to be on our guard just in case.”
Mara replied sternly, “I will be watching after Sam like no one's business. If a small bug tries to bite her, I am going to be there before it does.”
Luke pointed out, “Mara, you cannot be there for her every second of her life. She has enough to worry about. You will be pushing her away than helping her.”
Mara sighed, “That is true. Dammit! I just cannot sit and allow Sam to be beaten.”
Luke replied gently, “You know I want to help Sam. I was, after all, the first one that found her. I also saw the hurt she has in her. Just the same, I know she can become one of the best Jedi Knights I have ever seen.”
Mara stated worriedly, “Or she can be the next Sith Lord. I for one will not allow that to happen to her.”
“We better make our report. Corran and Mirax will want to know what we have concluded.”
Instead of Luke calling Corran, it was the other way around.
Corran said to Mara and Luke, “I knew you two were monitoring Sam. I am sure you two came up with the conclusion Sam had these raw emotions fed to her.”
Mara told Corran that she thought it was another clone of Palpatine.
Corran replied, “It could, and it could not be him. Whoever the person may be, Sam is more important. We need to find out why someone wants her.” Corran told them about her fears that all the Jedi Knights would be murdered due to her.
Mara said angrily, “Dammit! It is not Palpatine then. That is not his way of doing things.”
Corran replied, “Exactly why I do not think it is him. That is also why I said we should be focusing on her. She can fall apart all by herself with the type of thinking she has been conditioned to believe in.”
Luke stated, “If we do anything, we need to befriend her rather than treat her as a casualty. I felt in her from the beginning that she believes she is completely alone in our world. That loneliness would make me go out of my mind.”
Mara said a little cheerfully, “She has already attached to me. When I was rescuing her from the mines, I promised I would show her the arsenal of weapons I have collected over the years.”
Mara said with enthusiasm, “I am very happy to see that Sam connected to you first Corran - in you being her Jedi Master.”
Corran replied, “Same here. She needs to know she is one special person. Due to these attacks on her, she thinks she is useless.”
**********
While the three continued to discuss how everyone could help Sam become a much better person, Mirax was spending time with her on the other end of the house so she would not hear her Master talking to Mara and Luke.
Looking over her new clothes, Sam said, “Thank you for these clothes. They look very nice. Some are very beautiful. Being in the Air Force, I never had the time to wear nice clothes such as these.”
Mirax said warmly, “Seeing how wonderful a person you are Sam, Earth must be one marvelous planet.”
Sam smiled, “I believe so. There is more life on our little planet than I have seen in all the planets I have been too.”
“How many do live on Earth?”
“Over 6 billion people.”
“WOW! That is a lot.”
“That is only the humans. Earth has all sorts of animal life and plant life.”
“I can see why you became a scientist.”
Sam sighed, “I do hope I get that life back.”
Mirax smiled, “Sam, believe it or not, you never lost it. You are still Captain Samantha Carter of the United States Air Force. Even if you end up retiring from active duty, you are still that same person.”
Sam gave a weak smile, “Thanks.”
“I say that because it is true.”
Sam looked at the ground and said, “I do not know anymore what is true in my life.”
Mirax said gently, “Look at me.”
Sam did as she was told.
“You are true in your life. It does not matter if you are a Captain, a civilian, or a Jedi Knight. You are Samantha Carter. It does not matter what job you are doing in your life. What matters is how you live your life. From what I have heard from you own words, your life is the most wonderful thing anyone can have.”
Sam started to cry, “Then why am I feeling this way?”
“First of all it is not your fault. Look within yourself. Do you really believe that you killed all those slaves in the mines?”
Sam cried louder. Mirax came closer to her to give supporting hug. After a good cry Sam answered Mirax's question, “No I do not believe that I killed them, but for some damn ass reason I feel that I did kill all those people.”
Mirax replied, “Someone gave you those feelings.”
Drying her face, Sam asked, “Why the hell for?”
“To be honest, we do not know why you were kidnapped and brought to our world. I promise you that all of us will do all we can to find the answers. There is one thing I can rightfully say, ‘you are not alone in our world.’”
“How can I function even as Padawan to Master Corran if I cannot trust my feelings?”
Mirax answered, “I do not have a clue on being a Jedi Knight, but I can see in you that you can find a way to know your true feelings are because you just proved it to me.”
“Yes I did.”
“If there is one thing you can do for me, I want you to believe that you are Sam Cater, and you are a free person.”
Sam replied unassumingly, “I would like to believe that too.”
Master Corran Horn walked in. He said to his Padawan, “You know that these feelings have been implanted in you are not going to go away until you fight them. Until you learn to deal with these false feelings, you are going to be enslaved by them.”
“Master, how?”
“One important way is to remember who you were before you were taken to our world. Just do not remember going on an outing or one of your SGC missions. What you need to remember is what is inside you already.”
“Believe me I have tried, but it is much more than these feelings.”
“We all know Sam. That is why all of us are going to help you help yourself.”
“When I do go deep inside myself, I am hit with a foreboding of so many negative feelings that I end up feeling sorry for myself, blaming myself for all sorts of things. The harder I worked on saving everyone in the mines the more of them died. The more I think about it, the more I feel responsible. I think whoever hexed me with these feeling knew what they were doing.”
Master Corran said understandingly, “What is happening is that you are being turned against yourself. It is a common torture technique that has been illegal for hundreds of years. It was used then as a means to getting certain people to break.”
“At times I feel that I am already broken.”
“Trust me Sam, you are not even close. What you are feeling are very complex illusions. They can be so realistic, that you think things are real when they are not. No one knows you better than yourself. This conditioning was all controlled by you in a way.”
“If I understand right, there are more to these feelings? There is something that is keeping me from fighting for myself?”
“Yes. That is why all of us Jedi Knights will help you. It will not be easy Sam, even with our help, but you must keep pushing forward. As you will learn about the Force, you will be able to master these emotional implants.”
Sam swallowed her fears. “I will do all that you ask of me Master.”
Corran smiled, “I know you will Sam. We all know that you want to go forward, and do the right things in your life. I am sorry that you have to go through all this in order to release these terrible things that have entered your life.”
“There is one thing that these feelings have not kept me from, and that is being with the man I love, Jack O'Neill.”
“Then constantly go to him as your safety net.”
“I do, but sometimes these feelings still chap my ass.”
“Now you know the importance of dominating these feelings. What I have told you can be the only way to do that.”
“Master when do we start my Jedi training?”
Master Corran smiled, “We will start first thing in the morning.”
