As Sam was continuing with her Jedi training, she did not realize that retired General George Hammond was quietly watching her.
He was amazed on how she was doing in her training. He knew a great deal about Samantha Carter. He came to realize she had an incredible knack in adapting to new things very quickly. What George was so amazed about was how she could learn to use this Force. Sam was behaving as she used the Force for years.
It was when Sam took a break she felt from the Force that her old boss was very close. All she had to do was look a few feet from her.
Sam gave him a smile and a salute. George saluted back. George said with a smile, “It is so good to see you again Sam.”
She replied, “It is so good to see you again sir.” George told her that he was officially retired, and just call him George.
Sam smiled, “That will not be easy to do. I got use to calling you sir.”
“Well you will have to get use to something new. I mean that Sam. That is an order.”
They both hugged each other.
“Spite what you have been through, how do you feel?”
“It will take time, but I have to admit I am much better than I have been. I am just doing my best to find faith in myself once again.”
“How is that doing?”
Sam sat down. “Sometimes it is easy, and other times I just do not know. I think it would be best if I knew why I was taken and brought here. I love being trained to be a Jedi Knight, but why me? There are over six billion people on Earth, why in the hell was I chosen to be in a galaxy far, far away. Now that I am here the more I learn about the Force, the more I feel that I have a responsibility of bridging Earth and this galaxy, full of Jedi Knights, together.”
George sat down. “How is that making you feel after what you been through?”
Sam answered, “Sir....” She smiled, “I mean George, at the moment I do not know how I feel. It just feels like there is a lot to sort out. I do not know what my top priorities to what are not.”
“I have no clue to what it is to be a Jedi Knight, but I know that you are meant to be one. After watching you do what you were doing on this...” He pointed to Sam's training course. “I know that you have learned so much in the little time you have been freed from your captors. As far as having faith in yourself Sam, you have it. I think you need to start using it. I know you far too well to know that Sam Carter never gives up on anything.”
“I was talking to dad and Selmak earlier. We concluded that these foreboding feelings I have been implanted in me.”
George replied, “I have to agree as well.”
Sam gave him an odd look.
“Do not tell me you forgotten about how you felt before you went on your last mission at the SGC?”
He did not give her a chance to answer, “I believe without a doubt that what you felt there is what you are going through now.”
Sam replied sadly, “Yes they are with a more intensification.”
“Stop blaming yourself for what has happened. If you can see past all those forebodings, I know you will see what everyone else is seeing in you.”
Sam sighed, “I have tried. Believe me, but something is keeping me from seeing past all of it.”
Corran said, “It is a strong conditional response. No matter how much you try to push past it, you are always going to be dragged back into the same state.”
Sam looked at her Master and said, “It is driving me crazy.”
Corran stated, “You are not crazy Sam. I wish you will stop downing yourself.”
Sam replied, “Yes Master. I try my best, but...”
Corran interrupted, “Sam! You know better. I take it if you talked like this at the SGC, you would not be allowed to continue.”
George stated very clearly, “Hell no, she would not, at least not under my command!”
Corran said, “Then do not do it here anymore!”
Corran ordered her to continue with her training.
Sam replied, “Yes Master.”
When Sam started back, Corran smiled at George Hammond, “I am Corran Horn. It is great to meet the commander where Sam worked.”
George replied with a smile, “Good to meet you finally.”
“George, Sam is one strong person, but she has too much of Jack's stubbornness in her.”
George laughed, “Tell me something I do not know. Whatever Sam had faced before you all got to know her, I want you to know she is a very kind, and the best damn officer I have ever been associated with. I thank you from the bottom of my heart that you have given her this opportunity to be a Jedi Knight. She needs to belong here.”
“It is more than she has no place to call home. Sam is in two worlds, and afraid of returning to Earth.”
“It could be she is afraid of going back and be taken again.”
“That is her excuse, but that is not why she is afraid to go back.”
George looked puzzled, “What is it then?”
“She seems to have lost faith in herself. Before we rescued her, she felt that she was alone in the universe.”
“Who could do this to her?”
Corran answered in deep sadness, “I really do not know. We have search for any possible individuals that would have the ability to do this to Sam or anyone, but we have not found any leads.”
“The Tok'ra, in which Sam's father is a part of, thinks it might be these Goa'uld that are doing this. So far we have not found any Goa'uld here in our galaxy.”
George was quiet in thought. He finally came up with an idea. “What would have happened if one of you Jedi Knights were taken over by these Goa'uld symbiotes?”
“For nearly a year now, we have lost a Jedi Knight. He does possess great powers with the Force, and great arrogance. If he is willfully united with one of these Goa'uld symbiotes, then it can explain a lot of things. It is possible that they can delude us Jedi without any traces.”
“Since you have SG1 here, they can find this person.”
Corran said calmly, “I thank you for your offer, but Earth should not be fighting our battles.”
George smiled, “No offense, but Earth is already involved. Sam is from Earth. I for one believe that she is somehow put in position to be responsible for bridging this galaxy to ours. SG1 has already made their roots here in this galaxy. They are just as much a part of what is going on here as you all are.”
“You have a point. I guess I have been too protective of Sam and her friends.”
George smiled warmly, “For that I thank you. Trust me Master Jedi. They can take care of themselves.”
Corran smiled, “I have seen them in action. Those C4 explosives can do a lot of damage.”
George laughed, “If I know SG1, they did the damage.”
Corran smiled, “From what I saw and know of them now, I have to agree with you.”
George thought for a moment. “You appear to know more about Sam now than the rest of us. What do you think of having her go back to Earth, even for a short time? Would it do help or hurt her at this moment?”
Corran thought over those questions. He then looked at his Padawan. “That is a very interesting. How fearful I see Sam when she even talks about Earth, she would completely freak out if she was asked to go back. On the other hand, I think facing those fears of returning will see how futile they are. You or one of her family would be the best to ask her to return. I do not think any of us Jedi telling her to go back to Earth will do the trick.”
“That is one hell of a conditional response that Sam has if she is to fear returning to where she came from.”
Corran said with sincerity, “That is what makes our finding out who in the hell has gone out of their way to kidnap her, bring her here in this galaxy, and go out of their way to keep her here at all cost our top priority. If we do not, we could lose Sam completely.”
George replied in frustration, “I be damned if I let that happen.”
“Same here George.”
**********
Later on that day, someone sent Sam's brother to where Sam was training. It was not long before Sam felt him with the Force.
Sam spouted out while on her training course, “Mark!”
“Keep at what you are doing sis. I just watch.”
Sam did continue. She had to go three more rounds before her Master wanted her to stop. When she did finish, Sam jumped high in the air, and landed a few feet in front of her brother.
Mark said, “Show off. You do not have to prove to me anything.”
Sam smiled, “It was a little showing off. I also wanted to see if I could jump to where you were sitting.”
Mark asked, “Well, how are you doing?”
Sam called a towel to her. When she caught it, she dried her face and neck off. Sam put the towel around her neck and sat down. “The Jedi training is doing great.”
“I can see that bonehead. I was talking about why you are here in this galaxy in the first place.”
“What have they told you so far?”
“I do not give a rat’s ass what they said to me. I want to hear how you feel from you.”
Sam sighed, “Gone through hell would be an understatement. Mark I have never hurt so much in my entire life. I was tortured beyond everything that can be done on Earth. I screamed in pain due to what was inflicted on me without having any physical damage. That means I was tortured longer because I lived through it. Every part of my body was being tortured at once. On top of that, I was forced to see Jack get shot at over and over, and I could not do one fucking thing about it. The harder I tried to block it out of my mind, the stronger it got.” Sam started to cry.
Mark gave her a quiet brotherly hug. He did not say anything. How could he. What could he say to easy what she had gone through?
Sam was not done. “When I was in the most horrible filthiest cell imaginable, somehow I was forced with foreboding feelings as I was the only living being alive. When Terrell bought me, I felt more humiliated. Alas, I was put in charge of keeping everyone alive.” Sam cried even harder.
Sam dried her face off and continued, “You know me. Knowing there was no hope to keep any of them alive, I keep on trying. That was what really destroyed me inside. They died spite all that I have done to save them. Mark how in the hell am I going to stay sane with all those memories?”
Mark said calmly, “I know now that what you are going through is a psychological conditioning. Yes you do love to help those are in need, but what you are saying right now is not the Sam I know and love. Listen to yourself. Does that sound like you?”
Sam just shook her head.
“I must be losing my mind then.”
Mark replied with a brotherly smile, “No, you are not. If you were, how can you love Jack as much as you have here in this galaxy?”
Sam smiled, “Thanks bro.”
Mark just smiled.
After allowing Sam to compose herself, he asked, “Just for a short time, why not go to Earth just to see it again. You can then come back here and complete your training.”
Sam was about to freak out in just thinking about going back to Earth. “Mark, please never ask me to do that again!”
Mark did not understand. “What makes you so afraid in going back?”
Sam was shaking like a leave. “I am afraid that I will be kidnapped, and go through all that I been through if not more. Mark, I never want to go through again on half of what I have experienced.”
Listen to yourself! It is one of those damn psychological conditioning again. You have been through the damn Stargate hundreds of times. I cannot believe that you can be so afraid of going through it this time.”
Sam still shaking replied, “If it is a psychological conditioning, then it is the most damning one I know of.” How I feel...”
Mark interrupted, “It sounds like it to me that you need to stop going by how you feel. Use this Force of yours. After all it allowed you to jump all the way to here from where you were. Mark looked at the distance between him and the course she was on. “I say it is about 24 feet.”
“If you can jump that distance without a scratch on you, then this Force can guide you out of this conditioning.”
Sam just sat there with a blank look on her face.
“What you have been through, I would start to lose faith in God, my family, friends, and even myself. You just need to keep grabbing your faith after it wiggles through your fingers. Once you start having a better grip on your past life, you will see what everyone has seen in you.”
“Mark, I do not want to be what I once was. It is not just what I have been through that is making this decision. Lately I feel for some reason I have some grand purpose in being here. Being kidnapped and tortured was part of the plan. Just the same, I am here and free. That was not part of my captor's plan.”
“Why are you here?”
“I do not have the slightest clue. As I have continued to grow in the Force, this feeling becomes stronger and stronger. Right now it is a feeling. One day the reason of all this craziness will be revealed.”
“Hold on tight to those thoughts, Sam.”
“I am Mark. Trust me I am. That is why I have not gone completely out of my mind. I know everyone has said that I am sane and normal. Please believe me, it is a lot worse than anyone knows. I cannot explain it, and maybe that is the reason why I have not told anyone other than C-3PO.”
“Why did you tell C-3PO?”
“The question should be why I have not told everyone?”
“Why have you not done that?”
“Believe it or not Mark, everyone's life could be in danger if I did spill the beans.”
“Is this what you believe to be true, or is this another conditioning?”
“The reason why I was sent here puts everyone is in danger enough already. Think about it Mark. Would you go out of your way to go to another planet just for one person?”
“If it was a very damn good reason, yes I would.” Mark realized what Sam was telling her. Mark blurted out, “Shit in hell girl!”
“That is exactly why I have kept quiet. I hurt like hell, but how much will I hurt if everyone gets attacked if I spill the beans. I even have not told C-3PO everything. I think half of his circuits have frozen already from what I did tell him. What I have been going through is not your average everyday grab the girl and torture her for ransom from her family or whomever.
Mark put both hands on top of his head over the magnitude of what his sister had told him.
Mark said with confusion, “I do not understand it all, but I have to say, I believe you. I think you need to tell at least you Master what you just told me.”
“To be honest with you, he was monitoring our conversations.”
“How?”
“I asked him to. The means was by the Force. By now, he has told Luke, Mara, Jack, and the others.”
Mark smiled, “You can read minds?”
“No. Just monitor things. It is a way Jedi Knights can communicate with each other outside of technology. I have even communicated with Jack and SG1 before they came here.”
“Cool!”
Sam smiled, “It is a lot better than yelling out the window.”
Mark sighed, “I wished I can stay here with you.”
“Your life is on Earth. Mine is here.”
Corran yell out. “No Sam! Your life is on your own world. Yes you are training to be a great Jedi, but your life is on Earth. When you do go back, you will see that. Don't worry, no one here is going to run you off, but you cannot stay here when your place is on Earth.”
Sam looked at her Master. “I cannot go back to Earth if I am going to fear it like the plague.”
“You are correct. That is why I have decided that you need to meditate on that.”
Sam nodded.
Corran asked Mark, “Would you like to join in this meditation?”
“What do I need to do?”
“Simply meditate. Allow Sam to feel you presence while she is meditating in the Force.”
Mark looked at Sam, and back at Corran, “I will do it.”
Corran was about to walk off. Sam asked, “Master?”
“You need to focus on your brother and not me my Padawan. You need to start focusing more and more on Earth than of this galaxy. How else will you break from this psychological conditioning?”
She smiled at Mark. “I know what to do. I do this on my own a lot, even when it is not required by Master Corran.”
Sam stood up, and asked Mark to follow here. When they got to the destination, she asked her brother to have a seat with his legs crossed.
Sam said with her eyes closed, “Now we meditate.”
She used the Force to feel her brother in every way. She was feeling what it is to be a person from Earth that is in a strange world. She understood what her Master wanted her to do. See with the Force of what it is to be someone from Earth.
She realized that she was stripped from her home world. That was why she was feeling as bad as she had. Who would not feel that way if they had their home world removed from their inner most being?
What was bothering her was not being away from Earth, but being away from her true self. Her heart is of Earth. That is why Master Corran told her she belonged on Earth.
The more she used the Force on her brother, the more she was reprogramming her soul. Before she could even think of going back home, she had to be herself. She did not have to be in the Air Force. She came to realize she was not that same person she was before she was forcible removed. She had to be herself once again
Mark was what will make the difference in her life from now on. Even when Mark is back on Earth doing his daily routine, she will be using the Force to follow him. The evil that has been done to Samantha Carter would be broken down one day at a time.
**********
The next morning Sam was at her gymnasium, but not for her morning exercises. Sam and Jack were there for their bridal shower. They had their family and friends there with them.
“Jack and I dearly thank you for taking your time to come here, and not freaking out with all the different life forms here on Coruscant.”
One of Jack's family members said, “We have known Jack for a good many years, believe me Sam that is a lot stranger.”
Jack just smiled, “Don't tell her that. She will get cold feet.”
Sam and Jack were holding hands the whole time. Sam simply gave Jack a kiss on the lips and cheers came all around. Sam and Jack smiled.
“I will never get cold feet in wanting in marrying you Jack.”
Cassandra said, “Are you going to just stand there and kiss each other, or are you going to open the gifts?”
Sam and Jack just looked at each other and smiled.
Cassandra replied jokingly, “Okay, open the gifts. We did not come to a galaxy far, far away to see you smooching.”
Sam turned and looked at Cassandra with a smile. “We will open the gifts. We were just pulling your leg.”
Most of the gifts were bought from Earth, some were not. Cassandra helped the others get those gifts on Coruscant. She was not an Earth female, so it was natural for her to interact with others from outside of Earth.
As both Teal'c and Mara has said, everyone from Earth did not fear the different species of Coruscant. In most cases they were delighted to see them. Some of Sam and Jack's family made friends with some of life forms on Coruscant.
The most important gift that they could receive was from Corran and Mirax. They got an apartment of their own. When Mirax presented that special gift, Sam gave her a loving hug.
Sam said, “You dear sweet person. You have been a God sent to me. I thank you for all you have done for Jack and me. You almost have been a mother to me.”
Mirax replied, “Sam, stop that. You will cause me to cry.”
Sam gave her a smile, “I thank you for catching my tears when I did more than my share of crying.”
“You are a dear sweet person Sam. You will stand tall in the end. I think you know this, or you might have given up before you were rescued.”
“Part of me never will, but I am happy that you all did rescue me when you did.”
Mirax smiled, “Live a happy life Sam.”
